Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan

By Jason Haggstrom, May 21, 2010

In recognition of the 30th anniversary of the release of The Empire Strikes Back, I present my ode to Obi-Wan Kenobi, supreme badass of the Jedi Order:

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan is a lad
He follows his surrogate dad
A gleam in his eye
Not quite a Jedi
He’ll slice up the growing Maul fad

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan with a beard
Jedi with mullets are feared
As your armies surmount
Almost downed by the Count
Saved by the Padwan you reared

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan is no slack
As General he rained down the smack
The story’s no myth
He knocked out two Sith
Though one was his Padwan gone black

Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan is the man
I like him still better than Han
He’s well versed in lies
We know that he dies
But he’ll help you however he can (when asked)

Spirit, oh Spirit, so green
The most glowing that I’ve ever seen
You’re acting so Zen
Your name was once Ben
I like your transparency sheen

Spirit, oh Spirit, so clear
I think that the ending is near
With nothing to do
I bid you adieu
Dead Jedi is not a career

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